Go ahead, take it

As kids we used to think it was so funny to hear my grandma answer the phone.  She would be chatting away in a normal voice, which for her (and her 8 sisters) was rapid fire and kind of loud.  The phone would ring, she would cross the kitchen, pick up the receiver and say  "hellO-o?", her voice suddenly sweet and soft and singsong, managing to draw it out into three syllables.  The stark contrast cracked us up every time...somehow the trek across the kitchen transformed her from the Grandma we knew to a caricature of over-the-top sunniness. Even better if the phone rang when she was upset or scolding us. ("You kids stop running through here!  We have enough people in the kitchen already.  Everyone out! " {phone ring, delicate clearing of throat}  "HellO-o?")

I've worried lately that sometimes this blog feels like that cheery, sing-song hello--definitely one side of my life/personality/experience but not always exactly the full picture.   When I decided to call this spot on the internet "basic joy" it wasn't because I think my life is any more joyful than anyone else's.  It was to remind myself to find the basic everyday joy, a nudge challenging my sometimes Eeyore moods. Life is complicated and mine is messy and imperfect.  Challenges, life's pace, loneliness, expectations, hormones, did I say expectations?, and too little sleep conspire to hide the joy.  

I know from talking to friends, the young women I work with, and a few of you that I'm not alone in this.  I've got a classic case of the Novembers, I think.  I cry at victory speeches, concession speeches,  birthdays, commercials, stories on the radio, watching my kids rise to the occasion and despairing at their struggles--good cries and sad cries, happiness and loneliness.  All of this coexisting with the necessity of my cheery hellO-o voice when it's required.

Then I remember what I always learn in these dreary spans: I can choose joy even in the middle of all that. So I lean heavily on these thoughts:

I salute you. I am your friend and my love for you goes deep. There is nothing I can give you which you have not got. But there is much, very much, that while I cannot give it, you can take. No heaven can come to us unless our hearts find rest in today. Take heaven! No peace lies in the future which is not hidden in this present little instance. Take peace! The gloom of the world is but a shadow. Behind it, yet within our reach, is joy. Take joy! Life is so full of meaning and purpose, so full of beauty . . . that you will find earth but cloaks your heaven. Courage then to claim it, that is all . . . And so I greet you, with profound esteem and with the prayer that for you, now and forever, the day breaks and the shadows flee away. ~Fra Giovanni, "Letter to a friend"

Love that.  Take heaven, take peace, take joy. Go ahead, after you...

* * *

Inspired by:

~this post at Segullah about blogging

~a similar discussion about finding joy on my friend Jenny's private blog (so no link)

~this blog about mothers and creativity and blogging

~conversations with friends, family

Comments

[queenieweenie]

thank you for your beautiful post.

i have fond memories of my mother screaming at us then answering the phone in HER perfectly calm, sing-song hello.

[Christie]

Oh, my mom was the WORST sing-song phone answerer.

Wise words, as always, my friend. Keep 'em coming. November is starting to beat on me a little bit, too.

[Kelly]

Oh I can so relate to this post! I blog too! It started "for me" and then invited folks to read....and sometimes I get emails that say my life sounds soo perfect and I must (blog) to remind them all over again that I have struggles the same as theirs but my blog is a gentle reminder to try to see the positive each day, no matter how small.

I enjoy your blog...its sunny over here...a great place to come!

Best wishes & happy blogging!
Kelly

[Anonymous]

Annie,
Thank you Annie, you don't know how much I needed that post. I'm looking forward to seeing you in a couple of weeks, it's my ray of sunshine. :)
Jen

[Bridget]

Another great post Annie. Yes, my mom did the sing songy "hello" too. I don't believe anyone who says their house is always clean or they never get angry at their kids. Blogs are such a great way to find community in the good and the bad.

[seven smiles]

You put it so well.
I can hear Aunt Shirley answering the phone right now!
Sometimes I feel like I need a new banner on my blog, a disclaimer: "this is mostly for me--to remember to find the joy--read along if you like, but do not be mistaken, and afraid that I am dishonest or deluded; my life is full of non-joy too. This is my reminder to crawl out from under it once in a while, until it (finding the joy) becomes a natural habit."
Too much?
Yeah, I thought so too. Thanks for your observations and thoughts.
{smiles, J.}

[seven smiles]

I just got back from linking to the segullah post. Very good. I skimmed through the comments (you know, so I could pretend I was part of a virtual discussion...) and I particularly loved T.J. Hirst's comment about blogs defining who you want to (and are) becoming. I know who I am inside, the real, real me, and sometimes writing gives you the space and time to get it all said without the interuption of (good + bad) another's responses. (Sometimes, conversations with others, for better or worse, lead to wandering tangents--and the inability to complete the original thoughts.)

[probably should have put this in an e-mail...but oh well, maybe someone out there feels the same?]

[Michelle]

dang, you are a brilliant writer. Please let me know when you are sick of hearing that. xoxo, m

[Michelle]

but I am disappointed that you didn't comment on the sex post at Segullah. ;)

[andrea]

you know a lot about the stress in my life. it's not stress i choose, or even imose on myself. so this whole premise is one i try to live by... at times it's harder than others. thanks for the reminder of its importance.

[Emily]

Beautiful post as always Annie. And keep the joy coming. It's one reason I read your blog-to hear the "sunny side" and remember that I can choose it too.

[calibosmom]

I have the "helloooo" down to a science-I inherited it from my mom. Thank you for expressing exactly how I feel. I both love and despise this time of year. The long winter awaits...

[gab]

Great thoughts. I feel like my posts have all been whiny lately. Then when I re-read them I feel so much better. Probably because I got my feelings out...