Living life...

Last night as I was making this delicious guacamole, my knife slipped through the avocado and I punctured my palm quite deeply, giving myself an accidental stigmata. I'm fine...managed to miss veins and all...but I'm typing a little awkwardly so I'll cut this short (ha, ha...no pun intended).

Maybe it's just as well. Last night I read this line in Angle of Repose and took it personally:
"She mined and irrigated every slightest incident, she wrote and drew her life instead of living it" (pg. 442 of my edition).

I do that. I'm a writer by nature and, true to the breed, I live inside my head a lot of the time. As wonderful as blogging + writing is, I find myself sometimes passing up doing me some living in favor of putting down what we've done, as though the telling somehow makes it more valuable. Other times I'm at one of my kids' events and I'm jockeying for position for a good photo and getting all bunched up inside about the inconsiderate creep who's blocking my shot...when I should be simply enjoying and clapping and living it. I look around the room and we're an audience with digital camera faces.

As I write this I feel a little conflicted because writing and creating is such a vital part of my life. It is living, for me, much of the time and I wouldn't want to take that away from myself. But every once in a while I need a minor tap on the shoulder to remember. You have my permission to do the tapping now and then. {tap, tap} Excuse me, m'am, there's a lot to do and love outside this little comfort zone of yours...

My brother Matt posted a lovely poem by Mary Oliver today that ends: Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?

So here's to living a wild and precious life.

The guacamole, by the way, was fabulous.

Comments

[Stie: My Favorite Things]

That guacamole looks worth a slied finger or two.

I find myself doing the same thing (not slicing my hand in half, mind you) but documenting my life instead of living it. It's a hard balance because what I love most is writing, scrapbooking, and taking photos. And since I'm the only one who is into those things - we wouldn't have the record without me. Sometimes a few days "off" are good for the head. Then you can get back to blogging/writing/photoging/etc.

P.S. I am NOT tapping you on the shoulder to stop. I have been enjoying your regular blogging. I'd be happiest if you had this much blog fodder all the time!

[Anonymous]

Your writer's mindset is very well expressed. I wonder if artists do the same thing - look at everything in terms of how they would paint that beautiful view. How they would interpret it. Does that take them out of the present experience? Are they more aware of nuances and makeup of colors? Don't know. To me, though, the gift of writing well also gives you the ability to live more consciously. Does that make sense? Less haphazardly, more keyed into the deeper aspects and shades of things. Just wonderin', since I'm not a writer myself - wish I had that habit and gift. Love your thoughts. Glad your guacamole wound is okay! Ma/CPB

[Bridget]

I can very much relate to the jockeying for a good photo while missing the chilren's event. I even find myself getting frustrated with my kids who are bothering me while I am trying to blog about how cute they are. A difficult balance to find. I am sure you are doing great.