;)
;)
;)
;)
Inquire within...
You know those signs in store windows? The ones that read
INQUIRE WITHIN
Well, I'd like to put a sign up in my window and see if I get any takers. {Whenever I read a historical novel where a household had a whole cadre of help to make sure everything functioned smoothly, I have to admit I have a pang of jealousy. I don't want to return to the age of such social stratification and exploitation. But there's something about the team approach that appeals to me. } Something like this:
~One painter who will patiently redo this bedroom:
Includes removing many hundreds of square feet of wallpaper, working with strange angles and dormers, and figuring out how to cover up pre-existing tree mural that looks to be drawn with crayon (and, based on experience, bleeds through primer and paint coats). Remember Eldon on Murphy Brown, who basically worked daily in her home and became a trusted friend and honorary family member? That would be nice, as long as pay isn't an issue for you. Carpentry skills would be highly preferred, since you may also go on to construct built-in bookcases, window seats, and Carl Larsson-style built-in beds. You may also be asked to babysit, unless the following position is filled:
Mary Poppins-like mother's helper: Or Alice from the Brady Bunch, take your pick. Self-explanatory, this one. Important in case I decide to become a suffragette (a la Mrs. Banks in Poppins) or do whatever it was that Carol Brady was up to (maybe golfing with Mike Brady?).
Recipe consultant: I'm perfectly willing to cook dinner for my sometimes picky crew--sometimes I even reach enjoyment level!--but for the love of spatulas, I have a tough time coming up with things to cook. Just tell me what to make and I'll do it! (Need not apply if you only do tacos and pastas...I have those covered on every other day of the week.)
Here's the big one: Decision consultant. Can't seem to decide much these days. Must be willing to advise on issues large and small: Should I change my hair? What color should I paint the bedroom? Should I quit my doctoral program in favor of more time at home and (possibly...perhaps...do I dare?) more writing? What games should we plan for Maddy's movie madness party on Friday (10 twelve-year-old girls)? Patience and good nature important, previous experience not necessary. In the event the position is not filled, may be outsourced to a Magic 8 ball. And no one wants that.
****
What would you like to outsource in your life?
Saturday, January 12, 2008 | 7 Comments 
Reader Comments (7)
For the love of spatulas...has to be the best line ever.
I will offer myself as your decision consultant. I will make snap, rash decisions that may or may not be what you want, but I will not need a lot of time deliberating. Quit your program? Yes. Trips with your friend Stie? Definitely yes. Paint colors? I'm your girl.
I don't think I'd be much help on any of the others.
Here's what I'd like to outsource:
Laundry
Bathroom cleaning
Dinner making
Exercising (yet still let me benefit vicariously).
When those are filled, my life will be complete.
I want want want Alice to come live at my house. It is a recurring fantasy.
And if I were outsourcing New Years cards for next year(which I just might...), I would ask you to do the job. Yours was soooo cute! Love the photo booth shots.
Oh, Annie...I'll make your dinner, if you can whiz Emma and me through the next 4-5 years, relationship wise?
We need to live in one big blog community. I'd come there.
Organizing. Can't do it. I'm handicapped.
Stie, let's trade. I'll make your dinner...you OCD my house.
I am never going to look at an "Inquire Within" sign again the same way.
I would love for Alice to make my dinners, scrub my floors and grocery shop for me.
And Stie, if we ever do set up the blogging commune, I'll do your laundry and exercising if you organize my garage and closets.
It's a plan! And I'll do laundry (I don't mind them too much) and make the kids practice their instruments as long as you don't mind that I take a nap now and then.
Sweet!
I loved this post and all the comments. I had to laugh at that comment about your sister. The first time I visited London and rode the underground I heard the announcement "Mind the Gap" before people boarded the train and I thought it was a nice personal relations type campaign about breaking-the-race barrier, overcoming stereotypes, looking at all people equally, etc. It was several days of riding the train and enjoying the philosophy of Londoners before I realized the message was just meant to remind you to watch out for the space between the walk way and the train so you wouldn't fall in.