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Confessions of a prodigal runner
I have recently (well today) returned to running. Running does not make it easy to return. Running doesn't embrace you and throw you a welcome back party when you come crawling back. Oh no, running isn't so forgiving. Running, once scorned, seeks revenge and vengeance when you come back. You have to Prove Your Faithfulness again before it's sweet to you. You ache, you cramp, you can't breathe. You start to wonder if that sofa with those quiet slothful reading moments might be more your style (and--in my case--they are). Maybe running and I have grown apart. Maybe we aren't meant to be eternal companions or even short-term acquaintances.
But then.
Oh, the freedom of letting go and running and the feel-good rush at the end! Then I remember why I fell in love with running in the first place.
I have had three running eras in my life when I took it seriously and did it regularly:
First, there was the running in England phase. Because we had heard that most college students added extra pounds while in London studying, my friends and I swore we would not let that fate befall us. I got up early every morning and ran. Well, first I walked, then I walked fast, then I alternated walking and running, and finally I was blissfully flying down the paths of Kensington Gardens and Hyde Park. If I timed it right, I sometimes saw Princess Diana in the backseat of her blue Jaguar, leaving the palace in the morning. Running was freedom, energy, thinking time.
One time I decide to run at night and ask one of the older guys (as in 23 years old) living in the same building to come look for me if I'm not back in 45 minutes. He looks at his watch, marks the time, and says "okay." Because the park is closed, I run through the streets of W2 and into Notting Hill. The streets, they are confusing. It's dark. I get lost. I utter prayers as I run and run and try to figure out how to get back. Two hours later, I return, ready to reassure the London police that I am, in fact, alive and well. Surprise! My time-watching guy has already gone to bed, oblivious that I have been stumbling through the streets of London at midnight. Then I realize I had been running the whole time. I decide at this point that maybe this running thing was going to stick around.
The second era of running was a stretch of time before my wedding. I don't think I need to say more here. I ran because I wanted to look great for my wedding. I was disciplined, I ran my heart out, and the minute we returned from our honeymoon, I put my shoes in the closet and plugged in the FryDaddy.
At one point I decided to run a 10k. The morning of the race I decided that, since it was my first race, I would just start at the back...there was no point in holding up any fast runners behind me, right? That was a big mistake. I ran the WHOLE ENTIRE race with an ambulance (hired to provide first aid if needed and to signal the end of the runners) rolling slowly behind me. This bothered me on many levels. I really hate people watching me run and this meant that two young guys were watching me for a really long time. You can't tell me there weren't some jokes at some point about the sad slow girl trudging along in front of them. It also just felt so ominous, like buzzards waiting for their future meal to die. "Are you done yet? Now? What about now?" I kept waving them to pass me but it must have been against the rules. Or they were really funny jokes. I finished, though, and it felt great & all was forgiven (pretty much).
So today began phase 4. May it last long and may running take me back and trust me again. Until then, I'll continue paying my penance.
{Next post: let's talk about running music}
Friday, February 1, 2008
Reader Comments (9)
I am entirely envious of your self-discipline. I have tried (well, sort-of) running, but I always feel so horrible that after just a few sessions, I swear I'll never do it again! It's good to know that the feeling does go away. Maybe I'll try again?
My problem is distraction. I love being outside but whenever I try to run outside it goes like this . . .Oh, that's a cool hawk up there, ah, look at that sweet puppy, what kind of dog is your puppy, don't those flowers look lovely, I wonder what they smell like . . . I just can't focus and keep running. Now, if I have a TV it's a different matter. So good luck with your new phase and I will try and channel your discipline next time I give it a shot!
I ran for probably 3 years before I ever really liked it. I did it because it was a hard workout, it was free and you could do it anywhere. I clearly remember the day when I was driving (it was beautiful and sunny) and I saw someone running outside, and I WANTED TO BE HER. I couldn't believe I actually felt that way. But I did. And I do. I SO wish I could run and chat with you...
That is so funny your friend didn't wait worrying for you! I guess its funny now since nothing bad happened anyway. I have phases like that too. Its fun to hear someone else who can document their life through running. Congrats for coming back!
I am doing the Running Happy Dance for you!! Welcome back--and your body will soon forgive you and submit once again to the rigors of running.
Oh to have run in England?!? What a memory (even the scary midnight rambling run).
As a sad, slow girl myself I can relate to your 10K experience. However, sad, slow girl COMPLETELY trumps lazy girl on the couch, so HOORAY for you!!
Laughed out loud at several points in this brilliant post. LOVE the thought that running is not forgiving. So true; so clever.
And the fry daddy had me busting a gut out loud, just because I can picture that newlywed bliss of nonstop eating. I think I baked cookies every other day - and we ate them ALL OURSELVES.
You go, running friend. Let's go to London together and go for a jog next year, eh?
I am more a plodder than a runner. But I do enjoy it. Having an iPod completely improved the whole deal. And I love feeling sore the next day. (sorta)
How cool to see Diana!
This was a fabulous post to read!!
Good for you that you are running again. The walking/ slow jogging sounds like my style too! I bet you'll build up strength, though. Keep going and you'll be an inspiration to me.
I loved this post! I too began running again last week after my "I'm moving break" that lasted entirely too long. Very brave of you to post your new resolve. Now we will hold you to it!