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Tuesday
Jun022009
Staring up at the mountain
I got some unexpected news over the weekend. I was selected for a fellowship from Zero to Three, the nonprofit that coordinates training and research about and lobbying for children from birth to age three. I applied back in November but it had been so long that I had pretty much counted myself out and forgotten.
It's a two-year fellowship and I will meet periodically with the other fellows to support each other in our individual projects and present and publish our results. My project will be to expand the guide and assessment I worked on in Guatemala to be used in different settings & other places in the world to train volunteers and temporary caregivers of infants and young children.
I really am excited. Do I sound like it? Cause I am. I did about 26.9 minutes of celebrating, took a big breath and started feeling a bit overwhelmed. I will have benchmarks and deadlines and expectations to meet. Yay! And: Oy.
* * *
The lesson yesterday in the young women's church class I taught was about courage. We talked about the story of Esther. And about trying difficult things and getting help when we need it. About not letting fear get in the way of good things. I read this poem to them at the closing and suddenly it felt like just what I needed to hear:
how to climb a mountain
by maya stein
Make no mistake. This will be an exercise in staying vertical
Yes, there will be a view, later, a wide swath of open sky,
but in the meantime: tree and stone. If you're lucky, a hawk will
coast overhead, scanning the forest floor. If you're lucky,
a set of wildflowers will keep you cheerful. Mostly, though,
a steady sweat, your heart fluttering indelicately, a solid ache
perforating your calves. This is called work, what you will come to know,
eventually and simply, as movement, as all the evidence you need to make
your way. Forget where you were. That story is no longer true.
Level your gaze to the trail you're on, and even the dark won't stop you.
* * *
This was funny timing, though. I had been feeling at a bit of a standstill in my PhD program, trying to decide whether to keep going. This felt like a nudge to keep going. Also, as if in ironic response to my desire for a 40th birthday trip, the first fellows meeting is over my birthday in October. Somebody out there has a sense of humor.
Tuesday, June 2, 2009
Reader Comments (13)
Congrats, my friend. How could they not select you? You are a gift. I can't wait to hear all the upcoming experiences.
Oh, and, that doesn't mean you're not up for a trip still, does it?
I am using the poem for girls' camp before start our 5 mile hike.
Thanks!
Jen
Congratulations, they couldn't have chosen anyone better. I could have used you when one of my darlings was 2 and 3 years old. Best of luck to you.
Congrats!
I am continually in awe of your greatness and goals.
:)
Congratulations!
Dare to dream... you did! Now you get to live it. And how insightful that you recognize it as work and embrace it.
You GO!
congratulations!! i am seriously excited for you.
sometimes i want your life. or your brain. it seems to be so much more intact than mine. except when it comes to vet appts.
Congrats! How could they not want you?? I'm with Andrea. I want your brain. What an amazing YW leader you are. Those girls don't know how luck ythey are to have you as an example.
Sometimes it takes so long to see the tangible benefits of our courage. You probably felt that after you applied and now as you move forward. This is such a great opportunity and I wish you the best.
Good for you! They could not have selected anyone better.
Sometimes I wish I weren't so shallow.
You my friend are wise and deep and you do it all with great style.
I want you to post The What Not To Wear Professor edition. I have a feeling it would be good.
How much do I love you? SO MUCH. Congrats on your fellowship-- you will do such excellent work. And thank you for that poem. I'm printing it out for my dad.
I need to call you. I have so much to talk to you about. xoxo, m
Very exciting! You're a rock star!!!
All of your great news is completely over my head, but I'm happy that you're happy!
And I love Esther. Love her.