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Me vs. Me
Turns out that going to London for a week, then turning around and going to Washington, DC, for my (final!) fellowship meetings for four days results in a sizeable backlog of work on the homefront. I have to pay the piper, apparently. Man, I resent that piper sometimes. I'd much rather hide my head in the sand. Or in a giraffe costume, should that be conveniently on hand.
Towering at the top of my list is a major paper I promised to my advisor this week. It's sooooo close and yet so far from being done. I am experiencing major writing dread and I seem to be repelled from my computer. Well, maybe not my computer (here I am enjoying it immensely, see?) but definitely anything associated with academic writing.
On the other hand, I really want to do it. I do! I love the ideas I'm writing about and want to keep moving forward. I chose this set of challenges. So there's the battleground: me vs. me. I'm so good at sabotaging myself, too: my ultimate opponent.
When I was driving home this weekend, I heard a compelling Radio Lab story about this very issue. A woman named Zelda Gamson was trying to stop smoking: wanted to stop, knew she should, but somehow the "other" her kept getting in the way. I was fascinated to find out how she finally triumphed over herself. Would it be setting up a fabulous reward? Finally deciding to improve her health so she could be there for her grandchildren and (please bless) even their children?
You know what it was? She made a pact with a friend that if she had another cigarette she would send $5000 to the Ku Klux Klan. That's right, she would fund lynchings and prejudice and evil. And you know what? After decades of trying and failing to rid herself of smoking, this time she never took another puff. The key for her was finding something so revolting that it outsmarted all of her little excuses and compromises. Fascinating!
Well, back to work...surely you've figured out that even this post is a distraction from what I really should be doing. Time to locate some self discipline or get out my checkbook, I guess.
What would be the worst negative consequence you could give yourself to motivate a change or behavior you're after? Or do you work better with rewards?
p.s. I will do a mega-London post once I have made some headway toward my deadline. (Besides, if you're like me you probably overdosed on London and royal wedding coverage over the weekend, right? Take a breather and I'll inundate you soon. xo)
Wednesday, May 4, 2011
Reader Comments (7)
Wow. It's hard to beat donating to the KKK. But for me I think the NRA would make me pretty ill or (forgive me) re-election of our current president.
Wow, Michelle, you really don't like the guy, do you?! As you know, we differ there but, hey, the important thing is that it motivates you! :)
Never tired of the London posts. My question is do you feel gypped that you were there the week before the wedding and missed it all? Or glad that you got out before the crowds convened?
I love that story. It reminds me of one Alan Alda did on Scientific American (or whatever his PBS show was called) where they challenged people to lose weight. They took pictures of them in bathing suits before, and threatened to show the pics on national television for anyone who did not meet their goal? All of them did it. He calls it the "credible threat" theory and I am currently trying to employ it for my own weight loss plan. Problem is? The other me really could care less about losing weight and likes cookies more. Hmmm. Where's that giraffe head when I need it?
Best of luck on your upcoming paper. You'll rock it, I am sure.
Why did I put a question mark in the middle after a sentence instead of a period? Dummy.
walking to the mailbox and back.
naked.
I hope YOU win!!
Sister, I feel your pain. It's excruciating. I, too, am procrastinating the writing. It makes me feel kinda bad about myself, like I should give up and become a florist or something with no writing involved. Ack.
I really admire people who conquer major addictions and habits. I seem to be one of those who works better as the deadline looms closer and closer. Don't know why, but the juices in my mind seem to start flowing a little more creatively. I mull and mull and percolate and simmer, for a long time, then I snap into action. SO this means I am very good at putting it off. This doesn't work with all things, of course - practicing for a concert, for instance - but in other areas, I find new ideas pop up when the adrenaline starts pumping. Fear is usually a poor adviser, but if requiring that you do something morally repugnant, like giving money to the KKK, in order to break a habit, then more power to you. Maybe I could promise to give money to the Tea Party folk if I don't.___(my worst habit here). I just can't think of anything I want to drastically that much. I could set a goal to wake up at 6:00 a.m. every morning and go walking. Naa. I really don't want that badly enough to punish myself for sleeping in. Maybe I'll think of something. I guess I could punish myself for procrastinating. (But see above.)