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My flight saga
Let's play a little game of good news/bad news, shall we?
My plane flight home last night was long and late, scheduled to land at 1:30 a.m. after a four hour layover in Las Vegas: bad news.
I got one of the first boarding positions for the flight on Southwest: good news.
I chose the very front aisle seat with all that leg room, a boon for the long flight: good news!
It was a completely full flight: bad news.
After everyone got on, I still had the middle seat next to me empty: good news!
Then a standby guy got on: bad news.
He was a huge guy who had been sitting by the bathroom at the gate and I had mistaken him for a homeless man: bad news.
My judginess: also bad news.
He wedged himself in the seat between another woman and me and spread out his feet at 10 and 2 o'clock, with an astonishingly bad smell emanating from him: bad news.
He evidently (according to my olfactory) wore some kind of diaper that was already soiled: oh so bad news.
I wanted to get over it and be gracious; he couldn't really help it at this point and I kept having "inasmuch as you do it to the least of these" thoughts: good news.
But I really had a tough time doing that, what with the squishedness and eye-stinging stinkiness: bad news.
He fell asleep for much of the flight, ending any efforts he was making to stay contained: bad news.
Anyway, I found some helpful distractions along the way:
1.
The Hour, a new series on BBC America that started this week. I downloaded it for the plane trip home and I'm hooked. It's centered around launching a news broadcast in the late 50s, with spy and conspiracy thriller elements thrown in there, too. Plus, you can't go wrong with Ben Winshaw (Bright Star) and BBC/Masterpiece Theatre darling Romola Garai (Emma and others). This clip is kind of weird but at least it gives you a taste:
2. Are you missing Downton Abbey? If so, Kate Morton's The House at Riverton is good for what ails you. A very Downton-esque family saga in early 19th century England and a fun read that I finished just before arriving at the blessed Manchester, NH, airport.
3. Burt's Bee's lip balm is so minty and delicious smelling. I reapplied several times. Maybe dozens.
4. Peppermint gum. Yes, please.
5. Commiserating glances with my seatmate on the opposite side, by the window. She got angry with the guy at the end of the flight, woke him up and said "I can't take it anymore! I can't breathe and you are too heavy leaning on me. Wake up and move!" He kind of nodded at her and dozed off again. So she did it two more times.
6. Knowing I would have a story to tell.
Oh, my, that was my worst flight experience ever, including the time when baby Lauren had some kind of reaction to dimetapp before a flight (bad mom move) and it wired her to 1000% capacity for the entire journey, kicking and laughing and whooping and bouncing across the country. Give me a squirmy baby anyday. At least I can change their diapers.
Oh, dear. To reiterate, my judginess and anemic compassion: bad news.
Tuesday, August 23, 2011
Reader Comments (8)
um. gross.
so sorry.
That is so tough. When Greg and I were on our flight to Paris in the spring, a man just like that got on and he smelled SOOOO bad. We breathed a sigh of relief when he sat a row behind us but kitty corner. We could still occasionally smell him, but we weren't sitting next to him. And for a 9 hour flight!? We were SO so pleased. And we so felt bad for him and his seat mates. Not a good situation, I'm sure.
You poor thing.
Oh nasty! That's a tough situation to be in. You want to be gracious but also want to freak out at the guy. Ugh! I will definately be checking out The Hour-thanks! Glad you're back-keep us updated on how Ms Lauren is doing.
Oh, that is just horrible. I had it read it out loud to J and we had a good laugh. I think he's been-there/done-that enough times to offer you absolute empathy. So glad you made it home safe. How did it go dropping L off? You survive?
eye-stinging stinkiness
Thank you for a good laugh first thing in the morning! Everytime I fly and get a smaller seat mate I feel thankful. I used to look around the boarding area for the person I least wanted to sit with, but I felt like that was tempting fate so I stopped. But how many of us haven't had the thought, as we watch the huge hairy man lumber down the plane isle, 'Oh please no! Not him!".
Sorry it happened to you. :)
OH, and I told Noah to keep an eye out for Lauren. Although if she doesn't hang out in the performing arts center I doubt they'll meet.
not fun.
and yes, i am missing downtown abbey terribly. thank you for the book recommendation! i was just reading about the new bbc series the hour. i am hoping to find it to set on my dvr. i'm sure i can find it online, right? looks excellent.
Oh my goodness, I could not imagine sitting right *in* his odor cloud for the whole flight. That's terrible! I admire your attempts at non-judginess though and reframing your thoughts--I'm sure I would have been stewing in judgment.
Thanks for the heads up about The Hour! I set my DVR for tonight--even though I'll be joining the party late, it sounds like my type of show.