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Triplicate
Artist: Brian Kershisnik
1. I got a job.
2. I got a job!
3. I got a job?
. . .
1. The straight-forward version is that an incredible opportunity has come up at a terrific national non-profit organization I've long admired. It wasn't the precise timing I was anticipating doing this but it does feel right for our family and we have all felt sweet assurances that it is indeed the thing to do, on many levels and for many reasons. I'll be the director of program research and development and I start Monday. The eventually has arrived, the season for this.
2. It is the exact kind of job I always said I would eventually like to do when people asked "so what are you going to do with that degree, teach?" (I would say something like "I do love teaching but I'd really like to help lead a foundation or non-profit, connecting research and practice to help children and families in innovative ways," not sure if there were, in fact, jobs with all of those elements at once). In fact, I have the eery feeling that someone was secretly taking notes or that my words flew out and become some kind of seedling that cultivated this particular, newly created job. They are paying me to come up with ideas! To have a big-picture perspective! To pilot new programs and innovate and connect the dots...and then hand off those things to someone to do the nitty gritty implementation.
3. And yet. Still, I'm nervous. And terrified. 90% excited (or, honestly, sometimes 74%), but the rest rather terrified. I worry about other people's opinions. I worry about logistics. I worry whether I'm up to the task. I worry worry worry but it's all the kind of uninspired fear that is unhelpful and belittling, the kind you have to tell fear, go sit in the corner until you're more productive. Each concern I've had has been resolved (Oh you want to be home in the afternoons? Sure, you can work an earlier, flexible schedule) but still I ruminate about things, long after the calm, right decision was made. Yesterday morning I expressed some worries to G as he got ready for work. I leaned against the kitchen counter in my pajamas (pajamas! they won't let me wear pajamas to work, will they?) and quietly wailed "what if I'm not doing the right thing?" He looked me in the eyes, kissed my forehead and whispered you're doing the right thing. Which is, of course, just what I needed.
. . .
Just wanted to say that today.
And I'll still be here. Here and here.
To be continued...
Saturday, January 28, 2012
Reader Comments (11)
You are definitely doing the right thing. Congrats! Onward and upward...
Congratulations on the dream job! You'll do great. <3
I am so excited for you. I KNOW you are doing the right thing. I love when the universe somehow hears our somedays and turns them into reality. You are going to do SUCH great things. I can't wait to hear all about it. Yay for new things!!
In that vein, do you think I could tell the universe I'd like to get REALLY REALLY skinny someday? And possibly do it while eating donuts and cookies?
Nah. Me either.
Good stuff. And scary stuff. But the stretchy kind is always a little scary, innit?
So excited. So excited! SO EXCITED!! Congratulations.
Hooray, you!
I'm so excited for you. It does sound like the perfect job and I know you will do fantastic things. Congratulations!!
That is so exciting! And it sounds like such a perfect job, good luck Annie!
How lovely! Congratulations. You will be amazing!!
I read this and read it out loud to Erik as we drive home. I choked up a lot and shed real tears at the end. I am so so happy for you. This feels so right and you are perfect for the job. I especially like the part about someone secretly taking notes...don't we all want that feeling? And you give me hope that someday (not soon) I too will figure out my life. xoxoxo
How wonderful you are!!! Very impressed with all your accomplishments. Just add this one to the list of amazing.
I'm so excited for you. I admire you so much and can't wait to hear all that you're doing! This organization is beyond lucky to have you!