The matriarchs

I am blessed with fabulous women in my ancestry. Wise, witty, generous, spunky, smart, sometimes fiery, always authentic--I've got a rich supply of role models on the branches of my family tree, including aunts, grandmas, great-grandmas, mom, sister. They are my mental pantheon of matriarchs. I crave their wisdom and advice, in person or through scouring their journals. To pay tribute, I'd like to share some of their insights. It might even turn into a weekly feature...we'll see.

This is from my great grandma Brockbank, fondly known as Grandma B, mother to nine daughters:

"Relax and enjoy your children. 99% of them turn out all right anyway. Just let your memory go back to all the obnoxious little boys and girls you used to know and think of them now. They're not delinquents. They're married now and going to work each morning, coming home at night to work in the yard, play with their children, go out with friends...they are the salt of the earth and yours will be among them, so love them and stop worrying. Especially ease up on the oldest one. My, we expect a lot of the first one. We set out to show the world what we can do, and it is a wonder they survive at all with our constant, erratic, unreasonable supervision. It is a good thing that children are resilient and so loyal. They forgive us and love us anyway."

See? Wise!

Dear Yes Club,

I am writing to cancel my membership. I realize this may come as a shock to you--especially with no notice whatsoever and since I've been such a longtime, card-carrying member--but I really must insist. This "yes" thing is just not working for me anymore.

At first it felt great. I love to please and there are few more pleasing things people like to hear than "yes" to their requests. Will I help with this school activity? Yes! Will I launch an evaluation of a pilot program in Boston Public Schools, committing to visit different schools in my free time? Yes! Will I attend a training conference for three full days in a row, juggling home and school obligations in between? Yes! Will I give a presentation for the leaders of a tri-state children's organization? Yes, yes, yes...sign me up! If all of these fall on the same week, so much the better...think of all those people who are pleased with my yeses.

My indiscriminate yeses have created a schedule that runs me instead of the other way around. I'm spending time on things I don't really care about at the expense of those that mean the world to me.

So, yes yahoos, I have been recruited by a new group and their pitch was very persuasive. More margins to my day. More time to have relaxed conversations with my friends and family, time to remember birthdays and notice the clouds and think about what to make for dinner and read for pleasure. Time to read the paper in the morning and walk the kids to school and take deep breaths because they feel good, not because I'm warding off panic. I'd like to give that a try.

In case you're wondering, I've joined the Sensible Response club. Apparently, I'm in the apprentice phase of my new membership, the "let me think about it" level. But I'm hoping to practice and advance quickly to the elite level, to earn the key to the "no thank you" washroom.

Yours in sanity and calmness,
Annie

Small Pleasures

A few small pleasures that currently make my life a bit sunnier:

Elizabethtown: This movie got almost no attention when it first came out but I really loved it...quirky and, at times, a little cheesy but a good movie fix. Plus it has an excellent soundtrack: Patty Griffin, My Morning Jacket, Ryan Adams, and Wheat all under one tent. Just what I've been in the mood for this week.

Coca-cola cherry zero: My friend Trina introduced this to me when I visited her in DC last week. Since I am known to ask the patient movie concessions people to mix about an inch of cherry coke in with my diet coke order, I was intrigued to see how this measured up. Pretty well, I have to say. Give it a try if you are so inclined.

Friday Night Lights: I love this show about small town life in Texas, family relationships, coming of age and all that it entails. It's about so much more than football. The relationship between Eric and Tami Taylor (both superbly acted) is one of the best-written & acted marriages on tv. Last week's scene between Tami Taylor (Connie Britton) and her daughter Julie was spot on. All episodes can be streamed online here.

Boden catalog: This just makes me happy to look through. Flippy skirts and open-toed shoes...this British clothier knows how to do them right. Great kids clothes, too. Spring must be here. Or at least coming. (Right, Mr. Didn't-see-your-shadow-groundhog?)

Ticket to Ride Europe game: A new family favorite. We got this for Christmas from G's sister Debbie and have been on a Ticket to Ride kick ever since. The idea is to build railroads between certain cities in Europe (and block others' attempts to do the same). It's a little like Risk without the warfare and hurt feelings. Warning: can be kind of addicting.

Hot Diggity

The first blog I ever read was by a (then) co-worker of G's a few years ago. He decided to quit to tour with his band Harry and the Potters and in his resignation e-mail indicated he had started a hot dog blog. I remembered it today and checked and--sure enough!--he's still going strong three+ years later. Somehow it just made my day.

You've gotta love a guy who quits a job at a biotech to pursue his dreams of sorcerer-themed rock who waxes poetic (and rates!) his hot dog culinary experiences. Proof that there's something for everyone in this newfangled dohicky we call the blogosphere.

I wish I....

- could play by ear or by heart
- lived down the street from my mom and dad
so they could be grandma and grandpa on a daily basis
- felt more comfortable in my bathing suit
- gave myself a chance to write that book I've always wanted to do
- threw more parties
- spoke Spanish
- didn't procrastinate so much
- felt more at ease at "functions"
- knew how to direct movies (and that someone gave me a chance)
- enjoyed exercise more
- kept in touch with more of my family and friends
- followed more of my spontaneous whims
- followed through on more kind thoughts/ideas
- could take my kids on a trip around the world
- knew the names of the constellations ( and could point them out)
- were several sizes smaller (see exercise wish. and bathing suit one.)
- always knew the right words to say

Some of these are on my resolution list, others on my do-before-I-die-list, others I'm not sure I'll ever check off.
What about you???