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Santa squirrel drops in for a visit
This morning I had a surprise visitor from a Santa impersonating squirrel. I was in the next room and I heard a plop and the fireplace screen door opening. I went in to investigate and IT WAS A SQUIRREL that had come down the chimney. A squirrel, in the house, running around crazily and bumping into windows and jumping on things. Neither of us were very happy about the situation. Here's what I learned:
While I do fancy myself as someone who's good in a crisis, it turns out I do freak out and squeal loudly and talk to myself when there is a wild animal loose in my house.
Emergency pest control services cost $195.
Apparently the "emergency" part does not mean they come quickly.
(two hours later) Opening all the windows, channeling the Three Blind Mice farmer's wife, and shooing it with a broom works just as well, thereby saving us $200.
I feel like that $200 is now mine to spend as I choose.
Louie is not a hunting dog (remember how he's not a watchdog either? When will he earn his keep?).
While he didn't trap or chase the squirrel, Louie was a good wingman, standing in the doorway & preventing the squirrel from running into the rest of the house.
Wild animal stress will drive me to eat all the Trader Joe's peanut brittle 3 hours after I swore off sugar.
The stress of being cooped in a human home drives squirrels to wet their nonexistent pants.
Also, google images even has something fitting the search term "santa squirrel":
. . .
Best of .09: Best rush. Well, I'm inclined to say this squirrel-chasing thing was quite a rush. But I guess I'll have to go with the shock in receiving the Zero to Three fellowship and attending the first retreat. If a rush is measure by adrenaline and heart rate, I'd say mine hit a year-long high when I was presenting my project to that group and the mentors, all eminent leaders in the field & heroes of mine.
Oh, but I reserve the right to change my answer after I take the young women I mentor at church on an adventure at the end of the month: skydiving in a wind tunnel. Gulp.
Tuesday, December 15, 2009
Reader Comments (10)
Very cute and very clever. I think I saw that same squirrel scurrying ahead of me coming up my long driveway today...or maybe it was one of the elves. I can just picture the chaos in the house and good on Louie for being a great wingman. Best to you - thanks for the smiles.
You know it's a squirrel, and not Santa when he scurries around your house, but doesn't leave any presents.
Funny!
You've earned yourself a $200 shopping spree.
This is a laugh out loud funny post. I love the image of you and the squirrel chasing each other around the house. The $200 is duly yours, go forth and shop.
Oh, that is the funniest thing I have heard in a long time. Sorry to laugh at your predicament, but that is just HILARIOUS. I'd say you definitely earned the peanut brittle AND the $200. Get shopping, sista.
WOW! That is something!! I think I'd have wet my existing pants.
Very very funny! Thank you for providing my early morning laugh. the zero to three thing sound cool. Have you posted about it before?
That is just plain freaky. I have a friend who walked into her garage and came upon a squirrel. The squirrel promptly fell over dead. She scared the thing to death. I think it would scare me to death. A couple years ago we had a bird fly into our house. I was screaming and reenacting scenes from The Birds. It wasn't pretty. You totaly deserve the $200 for pain and suffering. I may have to go spend $200 just from reading about this.
Skydiving in a wind tunnel. You are the coolest YW leader.
I shouldn't laugh but I had fun picturing your squirrel adventure and the picture is perfect. SKY DIVING? What on earth is your budget? What a fun activity! Please post pictures.
Hilarious AND a little scary.
...Still laughing.
Oh my.
that you want to spend the $200 on you is completely legitimate. it's called the law of compensatory cashflow. i first heard about it on a calvin trillin audiobook.