;)
;)
;)
;)
A modest proposal
Just a little story in honor of my 20th anniversary this week. (I'm a little nervous about this whole heart-on-sleeve storytelling but here goes...)
It was the first time I ever cried in a supermarket, unless you count the time I threw a tantrum for a lollipop when I was three. But there I was, amidst the harsh flourescent lighting, overly friendly produce men in red polyester jackets, and tear-soaked lettuce. I missed him, two hours away. I missed him to distraction.
I had been dating G for fifteen months--six of those months I was in London and three more I was away at school--so we had endured separations before. In fact we joked about our feast-or-famine dating. No big deal. But the cold aching gnaw below my heart was telling me differently. I felt bereft and that wasn't good for my plans. Not good at all.
Love...marriage...all of this was scheduled much later in my life plan, certainly after college graduation. We had talked about how we would wait for any serious plans, despite the increasing undercurrent of certainty about the fact that we would share a future, eventually. Some day. When we were older and had more of our career paths set. When the grad school we both planned was finished. That was beginning to feel really very distant, the feasts too infrequent, the famines too...famine-y.
When G arrived the next Saturday night for our weekly visit we booked a table to eat at our favorite spot. But this night the feasting failed. Halfway through dinner, G seemed distracted, blankly nodding with a glazed look. Finally he admitted to feeling a little sick. "Maybe the flu" he said so I took him back to my apartment for a place to recover. An hour later he was still ill so I ran out for some medicine. The night crawled on until I convinced him off of the sick-couch and took him home to his friend's apartment where he was crashing for the night.
I dropped him off and as he left the car he promised to see me tomorrow. "Don't forget to lock the car, okay?" These words rang in my ears as I drove back to my place. Don't forget to lock the avocado green 1971 Toyota Corolla station wagon? Does it even lock? I had never seen him lock it before.
Once back in my parking lot, one glance in the back seat told me that Greg forgot his duffel bag. Poor guy, first he gets the stomach flu and now he doesn't even have his things for the night. I grabbed the bag and hefted it up to my lap. Expecting to find a razor or a towel or books or clothes, I unzipped the turquoise duffel bag and flailed my hand through the dark opening.
The contents clinked together and my hand brushed the velvet covering of a small box. Curious, I clutched the box and brought it out into the field of the lone streetlight. In my hand was a light blue jewelry box, much like one...an...engagement... My mind choked on the thought.
Should I open it? [pause] Yes.
Slowly I creaked open the box to reveal two gold rings nestled in the furrow, one bearing a gleaming diamond. Frantically, my heart started beating faster and my mind protested: I thought we had already...oh no...I can't believe this...what am I going to do...does the ring even fit?
Should I try it on? [pause] Um, yeah.
I tugged the ring from the anchor and slipped it over the knuckles of my left ring finger. A little snug but it fits. I'll get used to it.
Then the tears started, not the muffled supermarket kind but real, solitary weeping. It would be a long night. Tomorrow he'll ask. What will I say? As I laid in bed, many things played through my mind: thoughts of expectations (my own and others'), of stories of my cousin turning several proposals down, of overheard conversations about happy relationships and other, distressed marriages. One last thought drifted before sleep fell: I'll bet I'm the first one in history to propose to herself.
To be continued...
Tuesday, February 16, 2010 | tagged G, did I ever tell you about the time..., marriage, memories, storytime | 16 Comments 
Reader Comments (16)
I can't wait for the next chapter!
I cannot believe I have known you for so long and have never heard this story. Don't keep me waiting...what happened????!!!!
Who needs book group when I have this??? I'm on pins & needles here...
How cute is that picture??
...waiting for the next installment...
You must have loved him and the ring too! Congratulations Annie.
Oh lovely! I cannot wait until the continuation.
Also: Thank you for this post today. (I read another one, in a completely opposite vein that has had me depressed and distressed all day. Hoorray for true love, happy marriages and commitment.)
WOW! I can't believe you found the ring BEFORE he asked. This is too good!!!
Oh please do continue your gripping story. I am on the edge of my seat! Congratulations on your anniversary. Hope you have a lovely time celebrating this week.
To be continued? Hurry!!! I finally saw Young Vicoria last night. So good-I loved it.
i can't believe you went through his bag! what were you thinking? "boxers or briefs? i must know?"
eh, who cares. it makes for a fabulous story.
I feel the bittersweetness of the moment more than you can imagine. You express the emotion so well. missing you.
ooh, I love your story. Can't wait for more.
What a fun story. And told so well (of course).
Such a great story, and so cute that you did the human thing - opened the box and tried the jolly ring on! I remember this, but it is fun to see it in print. Happy Anniversary to you two lovebirds. It's a great match in our book! We love Greg for loving you, and both of you are just the best people we know.
I can't concentrate or continue on without the next in installment. Please?
Sorry for the delay! All of the kids are out this week for February Break and the days have gotten away from me. More coming soon...