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Holding on
"The best thing to hold onto in life is each other"
~ Audrey Hepburn
Yesterday I made 50 maple frosted cinnamon rolls. It was my first time making that many. Or, to be honest, making cinnamon rolls at all. What is it about tragedy that sends us to the kitchen? I wanted to get busy and do something, never mind that the subjects of my worry and thoughts were a couple of thousand miles west of here.
So I hit the kitchen, flour and butter flying. It was comical. I told the kids it was like opening an umbrella in Boston when you hear it's raining in London. In the end, it did make me feel a little better. And this morning a bunch of teenage seminary kids were perfectly willing to be the recipients of my busy worry.
. . .
Thanks to G's urging (and his frequent flier miles), I'm off tomorrow to gather with family for a memorial and graveside service this weekend. I just want to put my arms around my people. And hold on to them. Life truth #398: (whenever possible) always go to the funeral.
. . .
By the way (mind that you don't get whiplash from the topic change) , don't you adore this Richard Avedon photo of Audrey Hepburn and Fred Astaire rehearsing for Funny Face in 1957? So intimate and hushed and magical. Can I be her next time? Is that too much to ask?
Friday, January 7, 2011
Reader Comments (5)
(I baked today to for much the same reason.)
I am so, so happy that you are going.
(ps, that funeral post brought me out of blurker status... and so you know I completely agree.)
and, I love Audrey.
love her.
have happy travels and celebrate a brave life with loved ones.
Tell Aunt Shirley I love her.
xo
I hope everything works out for your trip. Do you have a cinnamon roll left to eat on the airplane? That's nice that you can be there.
baking is very therapeutic...
enjoy gathering with your parents and loved ones--it's one of the few perks that comes out of losing a loved one.
Baking is my therapist's couch, sista. I feel you. And suddenly I am craving cinnamon rolls...
Travel safe and enjoy the love and support of your people. It's so hard to be far away at times like that. Enjoy the weekend, if you can.
P.S. That picture is so beautiful it's almost heartbreaking.
When Sue Mika's father died she called to tell me. The funeral was in detroit and we were in cleveland, just 2 or 3 hours away. When I hung up--I wondered if I should go. I didn't want it to be one more thing for her to worry about--that we had shown up and she needed to take care of us/do something for us. I didn't want it to seem like I thought I was important enough that I needed to be there. I didn't want it to seem I was pretending to be an intimate member of the family. And then I thought--It's all in my head--she would never think those things. I lived with them for four years--I am a member of the family. She called to tell me--she needs support. And I thought, if she sees me there, she's not going to think, 'Oh, the musso's are here, now what do we do with them." Shes going to see me and know that I love her. And so we went. And I was so happy we did. I saw Sue and Allyson, and they saw me, and we didn't have to talk much but they knew I loved them. And when the grandkids sang a song and Eric was crying so hard he couldn't even sing, I sat with tears running down my face and a huge smile so if he looked at me, he would see my smile, and I could tell him it would be okay, and he was all right.
And now this comment is a post in itself, but it's all to say--you are right, always go to the funeral.
thanks, Emily