Equal money

I love Aussie money. First of all, it's money and who doesn't like that? And it's colorful which just makes life cheerier when you're buying your milk and bread (and easier to quickly find the bill you're looking for). Also, it's made of an interesting polymer material which is kind of like fabric, kind of like plastic. It's rugged and slick with a cute little clear window to prevent counterfeiting. 

But I especially love Australian currency because I've noticed that each one features a man on one side of the bill...and a woman on the other (except the 5, which features a woman on one side and a building on the other). How cool is that? 

Poets AB 'Banjo' Paterson and Dame Mary Gilmore. If you look carefully you can see some of their poetry on the bill

Reverend John Flynn (founder of world's first aerial medical service) and Mary Reibey (who arrived in Oz as a convict and went on to become a shipping magnate and philanthropist)

Aboriginal writer David Unaipon and Australia's first female parliamentarian Edith Cowan

Well done, Australia! (By the way, the coins all feature animals and symbols of Australia.)

This has made me think about who I would include on US currency if I had a vote. Obviously Jane Addams, Sacagawea, and Susan B Anthony have been honored (although ironically those coins never really caught on). Sally Ride? Louisa Alcott? Ella Fitzgerald? 

Who would you nominate?

. . .

For more info on Aussie money, go here.

Imaginary mentors

Back not too long ago, I worked on a research study of teen mothers.  We would schedule a visit with a young mom, then go and conduct a lengthy interview about her experiences growing up 

and with school 

and with the baby's father 

and about her pregnancy 

and feelings about being a mother 

and about her child. 

 These taped interviews would then be transcribed.  Later we would each listen to them all (not just the ones we conducted but everyone's) and code their responses.  It was all fascinating (it must appeal to the eavesdropper in me) but one question in particular always stood out for me:

Who are your parenting role models?

Sometimes they'd mention their own mom.  More often an aunt or a grandma.  But surprisingly often they would cite a fictional or celebrity mom:  Claire Huxtable on the Cosby Show.  Lorelei Gilmore from Gilmore Girls. Angelina Jolie. Etc.

Certainly it was sad when there were no real LIVE role models for mothering.  It goes without saying (but here I go) that actual role models are important in learning how to effectively parent...That's a topic for another day.

Today I was listening to an interview on NPR where the editors of Variety asked "is there a movie that changed your life (even just a little bit)?"  and I remembered those girls-almost-women and their connection with made-up characters, brand new moms looking for some other way (in many cases) than what they themselves got.  And I thought, good for them. Seeking.  Aspiring.  Resourceful.  So what if the role model is imaginary, if the lessons are real?

.  .  .

I have my own fictional touchstones of motherhood. Do you?  

I like 

yes, Claire Huxtable's feistiness and humor.  

And Lorelei's sense of fun and closeness and connection with her daughter.  

And, in books, Victoria Austin in the L'Engle's Austin series (growing up, I always thought that's how I'm going to be...) 

And Atticus Finch's wisdom and gentleness and integrity.  

And the mom in Blueberries for Sal. Just because.

What fictional moms (might) have made an impact on you?

Or am I just a little wacky?

.  .  .

Maddy's home tonight!

Notes for my pockets

I was talking with a friend who has been undergoing treatment for cancer.  She commented that it's been hard to reconcile the polarity that everything has changed and yet nothing has changed. Everything--her perspective, her sense of herself, of security, the new focus on healing--has changed.  Yet she looks out her window and kids are still going to school, the seasons change as always, life goes on. Living with both realities, she said, is difficult but comforting.

She said it reminded her of "an old midrash [a rabbinic story...she's Jewish] about a sage who always kept two notes -- both quotes from scripture -- on his person...one in each of his coat pockets.  The first one reminded him that "the world was created for you" -- God set this glorious table of creation, all the wonders of the world, just for humans to experience and enjoy.  

"The second one reminded him that "from dust you came, and to dust you will return" -- individuals are so terribly impermanent, inconsequential... they come and go in an instant of history." 

I love the thought of these folded up, tattered contradictory notes keeping the wise man both inspired and grounded.

{And doesn't this little film clip demonstrate both of these:}

via Keith Loutit's Vimeo

I've been thinking about that story ever since.  

About contradictions.  

And choosing between polarities.  

Or not choosing between.  

Because sometimes I feel like a walking contradiction (and it frustrates me!): 

Shy/friendly. Adventurous/homebody. Confident/insecure. Serious/silly. Worrier/laid back. Planner/procrastinator. Hopeful/pessimistic. Wishy/washy.  Mother/student. Seeking/content. Reverent/raucus.  To name a few.

Yet choosing one or the other of the pair feels like I've left a little, other part of me behind. Some contradictions (Adam & Eve in the Garden comes to mind) certainly require choices.  But my friend's midrashic story makes me wonder if some of the other contradictions each deserve a place in my pocket.  And yours?

Hmmm. Maybe it's more about the balance and knowing when to switch to the other pocket...

 

Today's Maddy watch: en route to Beijing, flying over the north pole (maybe seeing the Northern Lights?!)

Oh, to be famous...

Lately my friend Therese (okay...she was first my brother's friend but now I've poached her to become my friend, too) has had lots of celebrity sightings. Apparently Hugh Grant lives in her neighborhood in London and she has crossed paths with him. And (who knew?) Jimmy Osmond the other day. And Kate Middleton, Prince William's girlfriend. And (correct me if I'm wrong here Therese) French President Nicolas Sarkozy.

Which has made me wonder...what do you say to a celebrity?

Quote a line from his movie (don't you think she should say to Hugh "I'm just a girl, standing in front of a boy, asking him to love me")? Pretend like you don't know who he is? Give a compliment? Bravely ask for a photo (or cunningly snap one with your phone on the sly)?

Famously (in our family anyway) my sister said to Alec Baldwin when she met him years ago, "Oh, to be famous!" That's it, just the wistful statement, which I think is classic. It's an all-purpose celebrity greeting! I don't think she'd mind if you used it, too. And I wonder if he remembers it?

Me, I do the ignoring thing. I don't know why. I guess I don't want to turn into a puddle of Beatles-come-to-America swooning & crying. Last year when I went through the Boston Museum of Fine Arts with Victor Garber I smiled coolly and then giggled and twittered behind his back. Repeated for each room of the exhibit. And in the cafe afterwards. That was pretty subtle, right?

So here are my celebrity sightings, what I did and what I maybe should have done:

• Princess Diana (3x): waved once, acted cool the other two times. Now I wish I had reached out to her. It turns out it was a tough time for her around then. I should have helped her see how unhealthy life was for her at the palace. I could make her feel great about her body and talk her out of colonics and other crazy schemes. Sorry, Diana.
  
• Prince Charles: looked sideways at him and then kept walking (plus there were bodyguards). I should have asked him for an internship, since I was an undergrad at the time desperate for a reason to stay in London. Darn. There's one window that's now permanently closed.
  
• Merrill Osmond: Okay, to my 6th grade self it was a celebrity sighting. He kissed my cheek. Or was it Wayne? I should have asked about the big adam's apple. I've always wondered if he felt bad that it stuck out so much.
• Robert Redford: My grandparents have a cabin near Sundance so I've seen him from afar a few times. Rumor has it that he used to stop by the side of the highway and take a ride on our rope swing out over the river. He's shorter than you imagine.
  
• Victor Garber: see above. I should have impressed him with my spy skills and asked for a part in the next incarnation of Alias. I loved that show but I always thought Sidney was a bit too flamboyant and noticable for a spy. You know who wouldn't be looked at twice and could pass through security without being glanced at? Me, a thirtysomething mom, that's who.
  
• Stephen Sondheim: (I know! Cool, huh?) Just watched him and soaked up his brilliance. I sat behind him in a play so I got to know the back of his head really well. That was enough, honestly. I wouldn't want to risk doing anything stupid. Although maybe if I hummed a little ditty he would be inspired to write another brilliant musical. You never know.
  
• Senator Ted Kennedy: I watched him watch a basketball game. He was much more bent over in person. I'm pretty sure he didn't want to be bothered so I was right to keep away.
  
• Karl Malone: I worked in PR in the hospital where his wife had a baby so I got to take a special gift and welcome them. I'm sure that's exactly what they wanted coming through that door in the middle of labor. (But there's one I actually spoke to!)

That's it I think. I know they're just people (the magazines tell me they do their shopping! they take their kids to school! they floss their teeth!). But it's still fun to spot someone you only know through the screen, like a big world-scale Where's Waldo.

Now that I think about it, I could have been instrumental in getting together a Sondheim/Osmond/Redford/Garber project launched since obviously I'm a link in their six degrees of separation! Ah, opportunities missed. Please tell me your celebrity stories. Make me feel better. Or school me in the ways of celebrity chat. Clearly I need it.

Oh yes he did

We were in the kitchen on Monday night, getting the table set and dinner ready.  Greg came home from work and we were chatting about our day.

A: "Mine was good but tiring.   I got up late so I couldn't shower before getting the kids off to school and then I had to leave for my class and I promised myself I would go to the gym after class.  But I didn't.  So all day I've felt so off.  I finally hopped in the shower but I still feel so..."

G: "...dowdy?"

A: "...tired."

I hear Lauren, across the room, suck in air between her teeth.

A: "Um, did you say dowdy?"

G:  Silence.  Looks a little deer-in-the-headlights.

A: "Do you think I look dowdy?  Cause I don't know if I would say dowdy.  I mean, that's like what I would use to describe the Queen Mother [rest her soul]."

Lauren:  "Oh, Dad..."

G: "Didn't you say you felt dowdy?  I could have sworn that's what you said earlier."

A: "Um, no.  I would never say I felt dowdy.  I don't think I've ever said that.  Wow.  I feel kind of bad about the dowdy comment from you!"

Lauren: {laughing}  "oh, this is so great.  You guys are totally funny to listen to."

* * *

I remember my mom telling me about a woman of a certain age that she worked with who had a funny relationship with her husband.  One day this woman, Margene, told her husband, "I saw you downtown today.  I waved at you; didn't you see me?"

"Yeah, I saw you," he said.  "but I was kind of embarrassed.  I was with my friends and you weren't looking very good." 

"Oh, I'll make sure that never happens again," said Margene (I imagine a little coldly, don't you think?).  So Margene went out and bought not just a new outfit but a whole new wardrobe.  To make sure she didn't ever embarrass her husband again.  And he couldn't say a thing.

* * *

Thankfully I have a gem of a husband who would never say he was embarrassed of me.  And I do feel kind of bad for him for his slip-up (although not more than I feel bad for me!) But don't you think that little Freudian slip entitles me to a grand, anti-dowdy shopping trip?  Just wondering.